Creative Excuses

If you're one of the fortunate ones — i.e., one of those who still has a job in this economy — there is probably no worse feeling than knowing that you will be late for work.

It does not matter whether your tardiness can be blamed on oversleeping or traffic or dawdling children.

We've all been there before, haven't we? At one time or another.

And when you're running late, you may be tempted to think up ways to explain your situation that cast you in the most favorable light possible.

It reminds me of a popular fast–food outlet here in Texas that has made tardiness an element of its TV advertisement for its breakfast menu. The ad suggests that you buy a bag of breakfast entrees and bring them to work for your co–workers as insurance.

"That way," the announcer says, "you're not the guy who was late. You're the guy who brought breakfast. And everybody likes that guy."

Well, be that as it may ...

Rachel Zupek of CareerBuilder.com has compiled a list of a dozen humorous excuses for being late for work. Her list has been posted at CNN.com.

I don't know if the excuses were accepted or not. But I offer them here for your amusement:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.


2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.


3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.


4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.


5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.


6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.


7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.


8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.


9. My father didn't wake me up.


10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.


11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.


12. I had to go to bingo.

I can't promise any of these excuses will work so if you try one and you get fired, I accept no responsibility!