Five Smoke-Free Years

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Nearly 3½ years ago, the Montgomery County, Maryland, government officials observed the fifth anniversary of a policy banning smoking in the county's restaurants and bars.

It's been a long time since I was in Maryland, but I'd like to have that banner today. I'd hang it from my balcony, where it would be clearly visible to the cars that pass by.

You see, I smoked my last cigarette five years ago today.

I must say that I am proud of that achievement — I'm almost as proud of it as I am shocked by it. I honestly thought I was a lifer — however long my smoking addiction would permit me to live. I never expected to give it up, not for five hours, much less five years. That is a milestone that I never thought I'd reach.

Nevertheless, here I am, five years later, still smoke free.

It hasn't been easy, and I sincerely sympathize with anyone who may be taking his/her first steps down that long, often dark road today. There are still times when I miss it, when I crave it — there have even been a couple of times when I damn near pulled in to a convenience store parking lot, planning to buy a pack, and I had to talk myself out of it — but those times aren't as frequent or intense as they were and they don't last nearly as long as they did.

A friend of mine told me long ago that those cravings would become less intense as the nicotine left my system. I had my doubts at the time, but it really is true. They haven't gone away — I'm told they never really will — but they are easier to ignore.

If I could, I would tell this to someone who is attempting to quit smoking — If you stick with it, it will be worth it.

It will be worth it in many ways, some you probably can't even imagine today — and there may be benefits to come of which I still am not aware. But, after five years, I can tell you this:

• Not having to pay for cigarettes put a dent in my monthly expenses in these last five years — and that has meant a lot in this economy.
  
  I mean, by itself, my cigarette purchases probably didn't amount to a massive chunk of my monthly budget (although I noticed recently how much cigarette prices have risen since the last time I bought a pack), but when you multiply the savings over five years, well, it has become a tidy sum.


• I don't cough when I get up in the morning, anymore — unless I am congested from a cold. I've discovered that I really like breathing — and I want to keep doing it.


• My home, my clothes and my vehicle don't reek of smoke anymore.


• Food tastes better. In fact, I find myself discovering all sorts of flavors now. Where has this been all my life? I often ask myself. The answer is quite simple. It's been there all along. It just couldn't get through the smoke to my taste buds.

And here is one for parents.

I don't happen to be a parent so this has not been a benefit for me. But if you are a parent, this is one that you cannot ignore.

You will no longer expose your child(ren) to second–hand smoke.

Actually, come to think of it, I was a parent (in a way) when I was smoking. I owned a very lively dog for about 5½ years, and we were a family, the two of us, until he got loose from me one night, ran into the street and was hit by an oncoming vehicle.

After he was killed, I thought, from time to time, of the occasions when I had seen him cough, and I did wonder if he was affected by second–hand smoke. If he was, I deeply regret reducing the quality of his life. (For all I know, if he hadn't been hit by that car, he might have died prematurely from some smoke–related illness.)

Of course, there are other, more cosmetic benefits. One such benefit is that my fingers were stained yellow from all the nicotine but no more. That stain has disappeared.

Little by little, my body seems to be reclaiming what it lost to my years of smoking — and I sincerely wish I had given it up earlier. I did try, from time to time, but, while the spirit was willing, the flesh was always weak.

The time was right five years ago, I guess, and I am proud to be able to say today that I am still smoke free. It hasn't been easy. It still isn't easy.

But it's been worth it.

And I urge every smoker reading this to make the attempt.

Even if you fail.

Keep trying.

Three Years and Counting

Three years ago today, I smoked my last cigarette.

I don't know how old I was when I smoked a cigarette for the first time. I have a vague memory of being with a bunch of my buddies in an empty lot on a warm afternoon. Someone had a pack of cigarettes — Marlboros, I think — which was passed around for everyone to take one. Then a book of matches was passed around and everyone lit his cigarette.

To borrow an infamous phrase from Bill Clinton, I don't think I inhaled on that occasion. That was a talent I learned at another time. That day, I merely sucked the smoke into my mouth, then let it escape without drawing it into my lungs.

I started smoking (and inhaling) on a regular basis when I was a teenager, which, as I have come to realize, is not uncommon. Anyway, I continued smoking — and the volume of my consumption increased — for years until, for reasons I would rather not discuss here, I gave up cigarettes on this day in 2007.

It was unfortunate, to say the least, that I found myself out of a job 1½ years later. I am still unemployed so half the time that I have been smoke–free has also been the most challenging and most difficult time of my life.

To misquote a line from "Airplane!" I picked the wrong year to give up smoking.

In many ways, I guess, it has been good that I have not been smoking. When I started smoking, a pack of cigarettes cost about 50 cents. According to signs I have seen recently at convenience stores, a pack of cigarettes easily costs 10 times that today — so, clearly, it's been to my benefit economically not to smoke.

People also tell me it has been beneficial to my health, and I guess it has. My physical health, anyway. I must admit that there are times when I haven't been as sure about my psychological health. I often miss the calming influence that smoking had on me, but I remind myself that that was the nicotine — and tobacco companies manipulated the nicotine over the years to make sure people like me got hooked and stayed hooked.

There are definitely times, though, when I wonder if giving it up was worth it.

Anyway, if you're a smoker who's been trying to give it up and you're reading this, let me assure you that I know what you're up against. I've written a lot about it.

And the best thing I can do — besides wish you success — is tell you to hang in there. You may feel like you're hanging by your fingernails from the edge of a long, steep cliff. And you may not feel like you can hang in there much longer. But remind yourself of the money you're saving. And congratulate yourself for not putting your money in the pockets of the tobacco companies. They've already made their fortunes on the lives of hundreds of thousands of others.

Then, if you're married, think about the gift of cleaner air that you're giving your spouse. If you have children, think about the gift of cleaner air that you're giving them.

Think about anything that motivates you. Use little tricks to help you stay on course. You can find lots of tips on smoking cessation at all sorts of web sites. Find a good support group.

Be prepared for anything. Most people who try to give up smoking aren't successful the first time. Some have to make several attempts before they finally make it. And nicotine, I learned, is crafty. It finds out how you're vulnerable and it attacks that weak point.

In my case, it was when I went to sleep at night. It invaded my dreams to the extent that I would wake up convinced that my smokeless streak had been broken. Then I would waste a lot of time searching my apartment for evidence that I had given in to temptation — but, of course, there was no evidence.

I still have those dreams from time to time, but they aren't as frequent nor are they as vivid as they were — so I guess I'm winning this battle.

I still refuse to regard myself as an "ex–smoker," even though my friends tell me I have earned the right to think of myself in that way.

But, as I have often written, I think of myself as a "recovering smoker," in much the same way that AA members think of themselves as recovering alcoholics.

I have never met an AA member who believed he/she had won the battle with alcohol. AA members will tell you that they are powerless over alcohol; therefore, they are always vigilant. The battle is not over for them because they know that alcohol will seize control at the first opportunity.

It is with that kind of reverence that I regard nicotine. At this point, I cannot imagine a circumstance in which I would be convinced that the battle was over and I had won. I've had the upper hand for nearly 1,100 days. That is good, but it could all be wiped out if I let down my guard.

Recovering, not triumphant, works for me. What works for you?

As Long As We're Talking About Health Care ...

With health care reform the hot topic of discussion these days — that is, when the president isn't sitting down for a beer and a "teachable moment" on race relations — it's a good idea to revisit something that has caused a great deal of preventable suffering and death in America and the world — tobacco.

Tony Newman of the Drug Policy Alliance Network did precisely that last week in a commentary written for CNN.com.

"Cigarettes kill; 400,000 people die prematurely every year from smoking," Newman writes. "When we analyze the harm from drugs, there is no doubt that cigarettes are the worst."

A lot of things have changed over the years — in particular, attitudes about smoking.

I started smoking the way most people do, as a teenager. I remember once, when we were visiting my grandmother, I stepped outside to sneak a smoke. I didn't think anyone saw me or knew what I was up to, but after I returned to the house, my grandmother came up to me and let me know, without saying so, that she knew what I had done. "Most men smoke," she said to me.

That was probably true of the men of her generation. But, as we have learned more about the harmful effects of smoking, attitudes have changed. In 1965, the year after the surgeon general first connected the dots between disease and tobacco consumption, the smoking rate in the United States exceeded 40%. By 2006, it had been cut in half.

I quit smoking more than two years ago. It wasn't easy. It was pretty damn hard, actually. And, as I have said before, it is still difficult for me. I expect it to remain difficult for a long time to come. I've heard stories about people who still experience cravings 20 years after their last cigarette.

Knowing what I know now, I'm glad I gave up smoking, although I still can't really bring myself to refer to myself as a "former smoker." I refer to myself as a "recovering smoker" because I know that, like a recovering alcoholic, I'm just one slip away from being back where I started.

I have told my friends who still smoke — and, in part because of what I have accomplished, there are fewer of them today than there were two years ago — that I have definite opinions about tobacco use, but I'm not the kind of person who will crusade against something I once did. My best friend since high school recently gave up smoking on doctor's orders — he had suffered a heart attack. His daughter (my goddaughter) also gave up smoking.

I'm glad they did, but I didn't tell either one of them to quit. I believe adults should be allowed to make their own decisions.

Tobacco — especially in the nicotine–manipulated form that was peddled by the tobacco companies for years — is extremely hazardous, but it is legal. I was astonished to read in Newman's commentary that many people think it should be illegal.

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"The Drug Policy Alliance sponsored a Zogby Poll in 2006, and we were shocked to find that 45 percent of those polled supported making cigarettes illegal within the next 10 years. Among 18– to 29–year–olds, it's more than 50 percent."

Tony Newman

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Newman's response to that finding made a lot of sense to me.

"[W]ith all of the good intentions in the world, outlawing cigarettes would be just as disastrous as the prohibition on other drugs," he writes. "After all, people would still smoke, just as they still use other drugs that are prohibited, from marijuana to cocaine. But now, in addition to the harm of smoking, we would find a whole range of 'collateral consequences' that come along with prohibition. A huge number of people who smoke would continue to do so, but now they would be considered criminals."

I am glad, as I have written, that Congress voted to give the FDA authority over the tobacco industry. But I don't think the answer is to create a new group of criminals, as Newman points out.

I'm not a lawyer so those who are lawyers might disagree with this. But it seems to me that — with the exception of laws that prohibit violent behavior — laws don't exist to define and enforce morality. And it was on the basis of morality that alcohol was outlawed in this country during the era of Prohibition. The Eighteenth Amendment was passed under considerable pressure from the temperance movement, and it took another amendment to the Constitution to repeal it.

In contrast, the prohibition of marijuana has been in effect, essentially, for more than 70 years. Yesterday, as a matter of fact, was the anniversary of the passage of the 1937 Marihuana Tax Act, which began the process that made marijuana and its byproducts illegal. No constitutional amendment was passed making it illegal. And morality — or the alleged consequences to public health — had nothing to do with it. It was, as Pete Guthier writes, the result of racism, fear, corporate protectionism, "ignorant, incompetent and/or corrupt legislators" and "personal career advancement and greed."

Public health and morality were never factors.

Actually, Guthier wrote a piece yesterday that pretty convincingly states that "harmlessness" is irrelevant.

Nothing, he writes, is completely harmless, even those things that seem harmless.

"[Y]ou may think that water is harmless, and it is, if you're drinking a glass," he writes. "However, it is clearly possible to fatally overdose on water, and floods kill people all the time."

Since my mother died in a flash flood, this observation, as you might guess, holds particular significance for me.

To further establish his point, Guthier provides a whole list of things that are legal but potentially harmful:

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"Easy ones ...

• Tobacco


• Alcohol

... but there's lots more:

• Eggs


• Milk


• Construction Work


• Taking a vacation


• Bridges


• Stairs

Contractor: So, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, I see here that you're asking us to put stairs in between the first and second floor in your new house. Well, we can do that, of course, but I do feel obligated to warn you that stairs aren't harmless.

• Buckets


• Electric Blankets


• Fishing


• Crossing the Street


• A cookie."

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In his piece, Guthier provides links to articles showing how all these things (with the exception of tobacco and alcohol, which need no elaboration) have the potential to be harmful.

Then he concludes with this: "When prohibitionists play the 'harmless' game, they're trying to distract people from the real argument — the harmfulness of prohibition."

And marijuana prohibition has already led to plenty of harm — a thriving black market, criminal records for otherwise law–abiding citizens, the loss of billions of dollars in annual tax revenue.

Actually, what we need to do is replace current drug policy with the common–sense approach that has been working with tobacco.

"[O]ur public health campaign around cigarettes has been a model of success compared with our results with other prohibited drugs," Newman writes. "Although we should celebrate our success and continue to encourage people to cut back or give up smoking, let's not get carried away and think that prohibition would eliminate smoking.

"We need to realize that drugs, from cigarettes to marijuana to alcohol, will always be consumed, whether they are legal or illegal. Although drugs have health consequences and dangers, making them illegal — and keeping them illegal — will only bring additional death and suffering."

Amen.