The Always Quotable Mark Twain

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Actor Hal Holbrook has been honored for his portrayals of Mark Twain.

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It was 174 years ago today that the man who is, perhaps, my favorite writer of all time was born.

His birth name was Samuel Langhorne Clemens, but he is better known to history by his pen name — Mark Twain. He always said the name came from the lingo of Mississippi riverboats, on which he worked in his youth. When a riverboatman called out "mark twain," he was confirming that the water was two fathoms (12 feet) deep and, therefore, safe for a boat to pass.

He wrote about the origin of his pen name — and his experiences as a steamboat pilot in training — in his 1883 memoir, "Life on the Mississippi."

He was a prolific writer — a contributor to many American newspapers, a short–story writer and author of great novels. No less of a literary luminary than William Faulkner dubbed Twain "the father of American literature." Twain wrote many great stories in his life, including the one that is remembered by many as "the great American novel" — "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."

Unfortunately, in some quarters, the story of Huck Finn has fallen victim to 20th century political correctness because of its frequent use of the word "nigger," which was commonly used in the 19th century.

Today, racism is a charge that seems to be almost casually tossed about, but if anyone wants to accuse Twain of racism because a 125–year–old book routinely uses that word, more evidence will be needed. And that evidence will have to be sufficient to outweigh the facts that Twain

• was a resolute abolitionist, and


• he paid the college expenses for blacks who wished to study law and theology.

Truth is, Twain was a progressive who supported women's suffrage (which became the law of the land about a decade after his death) and the labor movement.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, I observed H.L. Mencken's birthday by reminding my readers of some of his most quotable quotes. It is only fitting that I should do the same today in honor of Mark Twain.

• "[A] classic — something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."


• "Honesty is the best policy — when there is money in it."


• "Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest."


• "Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any."


• "James Ross Clemens, a cousin of mine, was seriously ill two or three weeks ago in London, but is well now. The report of my illness grew out of his illness; the report of my death was an exaggeration."


• "[H]eaven for climate, Hell for society."


• "The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey."


• "I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough."


• "Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you opportunity to commit more."


• "Familiarity breeds contempt — and children."


• "None but the dead have free speech."


• "Figures don't lie, but liars figure."

It would be great if a complete anthology of Twain's writings could be purchased, but he wrote many articles for obscure newspapers and he used several pen names during his life. As a result, previously undiscovered writings are frequently coming to light, like hidden gifts from history.

Perhaps more such gifts will emerge between now and April 2010, when we will observe the centennial of Twain's death.

Norman Mailer Dies

Two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning author Norman Mailer died early today at the age of 84.

Along with the likes of Tom Wolfe and Truman Capote, Mailer was regarded as one of the innovators of "New Journalism," a genre of creative nonfiction, which covers the essay to the nonfiction novel. Mailer was part of the culture since 1948, when his semi-autobiographical World War II novel The Naked and the Dead was published.

For six decades, Mailer was a cultural icon. He won his Pulitzer Prizes for The Armies of the Night in 1968 and The Executioner's Song in 1979.

An anti-Vietnam activist, Mailer wrote The Armies of the Night about the October 1967 March on the Pentagon. It was penned at a time when other "New Journalism" works like Capote's In Cold Blood and Hunter Thompson's Hell's Angels had already been published and just before Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test was published.

I was born more than 10 years after Mailer's debut with The Naked and the Dead. The first Mailer book I read was The Executioner's Song when I was in college. If you haven't read it, it is a riveting account of the story of Gary Gilmore, who was executed in Utah.

I thought the book was remarkable, and I thought Mailer's writing was astonishing.

Ultimately, he may be remembered by future generations and future writing students for coining the word "fug" to replace the four-letter slang word for sexual intercourse in The Naked and the Dead.

(For you trivia buffs, "fug" is referred to indirectly in some dialogue in an early episode of the M*A*S*H TV series. General MacArthur is supposed to visit the camp, and Frank Burns takes it upon himself to rid the camp of what he regards as evidence of subversion prior to "Big Mac's" arrival. One of the things Burns does is burn a pile of books he has gathered, including Mailer's The Naked and the Dead. The book is never mentioned by name. When questioning Burns about his selections for burning, Trapper John looks at him disapprovingly and says, "Norman Mailer." Burns replies, "It's got that word in it!")

Replacing "that word" was actually urged upon Mailer by his publishers, and Mailer reportedly said about the affair:

"... The word has been a source of great embarrassment to me over the years because, you know, Tallulah Bankhead's press agent, many years ago, got a story in the papers which went ... 'Oh, hello, you're Norman Mailer,' said Tallulah Bankhead allegedly. 'You're the young man that doesn't know how to spell ... ' You know, the four-letter word was indicated with all sorts of asterisks ... I thought she (Bankhead) should have hired a publicity man who had a better sense of fair play."

Undoubtedly, Mailer will remain controversial in death, almost as controversial as he was in life.

He was absolutely certain on one point. "I knew that there was one thing I wanted to be and that was a writer."

One man's life can't be summed up adequately in one newspaper article, but the obituary in today's New York Times does as good a job as can be expected. You can read it here.

C-SPAN's 'American Writers'

C-SPAN has been showing a series called "American Writers II, the 20th Century." A website, "American Writers," will bring you up to speed on who's been profiled and how these writers continue to influence us today.

I just sort of stumbled on to a rerun of one of the episodes. Perhaps this series hasn't gotten much press attention, but I urge you to watch it whenever it is shown in your area.

For anyone who reads or admires great writers, this series is well worth your time.