Mother's Day

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"[L]osing a close family member is one of the
hardest experiences that anyone can ever endure."

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If you're old enough, you will remember the night in late August 1997 when Princess Diana, her lover Dodi Al-Fayed and the driver of the Mercedes in which they were riding in Paris died when their car crashed while they were trying to escape the paparazzi who were in pursuit. Fayed's bodyguard was the only survivor of the crash.

Diana's oldest son, William, was 15 when she was killed. He has spoken previously of the "emptiness" he experienced after her death, but this week, he spoke about it at length when he became the benefactor of the Child Bereavement Charity.

Speaking at the launch of the charity's Mother's Day campaign in London, William recalled that Diana had been present for its launch 15 years ago and told those on hand that he was "incredibly proud" to continue her work on its behalf.

Then he shared some very personal thoughts.

"What my mother recognized then — and what I understand now — is that losing a close family member is one of the hardest experiences that anyone can ever endure."

I can relate to William's experience. I lost my mother in a flash flood a couple of years before William lost his mother. I was an adult when it happened, but it was still a devastating experience for me, my brother and my father.

"Never being able to say the word 'Mummy' again in your life sounds like a small thing," William continued. "However, for many, including me, it's now really just a word — hollow and evoking only memories. I can therefore wholeheartedly relate to the Mother's Day campaign as I too have felt — and still feel — the emptiness on such a day as Mother's Day."

Mother's Day is celebrated on a different day in the United Kingdom than it is in the United States. In America, Mother's Day is on the second Sunday in May — this year, it will fall on May 10. In the UK, it is celebrated on the fourth weekend of Lent, which will be next weekend.

But I can understand William's feelings about Mother's Day. I have felt the same "emptiness" on Mother's Day in this country, which always falls near the anniversary of my own mother's death. She died on May 5.

Part of me died that night, too.

So Mother's Day is always a reminder — in more ways than one — of the ordeal I lived through in 1995 and continue to experience, to a lesser extent.

Since Lent always falls in the spring, at least William doesn't have to endure that kind of proximity between Mother's Day and the anniversary of Diana's death. For more than a decade now, Mother's Day has dredged up painful memories for me of that Mother's Day in 1995, when the wound was still raw and the grief was still intense.

To this day, it bothers me when I hear someone complaining about having to spend time with his/her mother or mother–in–law — or buy flowers or even a card — on Mother's Day.

I would give anything — and I suspect William would say the same thing — to be able to spend five minutes with my mother on Mother's Day.