Barbara Bush Dies at 92

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Former first lady Barbara Bush, who died yesterday at the age of 92, was a remarkable woman, and her attributes are justifiably being remembered today. She said many things that should inspire the rest of us on our journeys through life.

I have felt considerable empathy for the Bush family, especially Mrs. Bush's children, who have had the pleasure of having their mother with them longer than most. I learned when my own mother died that, no matter how old we are when it happens, it feels strange to be a motherless child.

And I have learned that is a feeling that never really goes away.

I have no doubt that George W. Bush, who is now 71 years old, is feeling that way tonight — in spite of his insistence that "my soul is comforted" by his mother's certainty that there was an afterlife waiting for her.

The loss of a parent is a blow for most people, whether it is expected or not.

But it is also worth remembering that she, like all of us, was human and subject to the same shortcomings we all have.

For example, when her husband, then–Vice President George H.W. Bush, debated the first woman to be on a national ticket, Geraldine Ferraro, in October 1984, Mrs. Bush, when asked her opinion of Ferraro, replied, "I can't say it, but it rhymes with rich."

Well, we all have our shortcomings, as I said.

And most of the time Mrs. Bush was inspirational, reminding us of things that really count in life. But she wasn't perfect. None of us are.

We shouldn't lose sight of that fact as the accolades pour in.

Rest in Peace, Betty Ford

I always admired Betty Ford.

When her husband became president in 1974, the initial consensus (at least, until he pardoned Richard Nixon) was that he was a "breath of fresh air." And, compared to Nixon, he was.

But Betty Ford really was, as I observed on her birthday last year.

And it was with sadness that I learned of her death at the age of 93.

I didn't support her husband when he ran for a full term on his own — which didn't matter, I guess, since I wasn't old enough to vote, anyway. I thought he was a decent guy, but I had Democrats for parents, as I have written here before, and we couldn't forgive him for pardoning Nixon.

Besides, I was brought up in the South, and I was enthused about the prospect of having a fellow Southerner in the White House.

Anyway, for that and many other reasons, the clear choice for me in 1976 was Jimmy Carter over Gerald Ford.

But if the choice had been between Betty Ford and Rosalynn Carter, I might have had to think about it for awhile longer.

I liked them both.

Betty Ford was honest and down to earth. She saw things the way they were, not the way she wished they were. I found that refreshing. So did lots of other people.

She could be outspoken at times — like when she said that she thought her children had tried marijuana and, if she had been their age, she would have, too. She was who she was, and people admired her for that.

"I figured, OK, I'll move to the White House, do the best I can and if they don't like it, they can kick me out, but they can't make me somebody I'm not," she wrote in her 1978 memoir, "The Times Of My Life."

She mostly disappeared from public life in her post–White House years. The Fords appeared at Republican conventions, but that stopped after President Ford suffered a mild stroke.

Then, in late December 2006, President Ford died — and the nation admired Betty Ford all over again as it observed her dignity during the state funerals in Washington and Michigan.

Her declining health prevented her from attending Lady Bird Johnson's funeral almost exactly four years ago. I believe her daughter went in her place.

As I say, Betty Ford was honest. Perhaps part of that stemmed from her experience of having been married briefly before she married the future president. Perhaps it gave her an insight into life and how things often do not turn out as we expect.

She knew that disappointments and setbacks were part of the bargain we all make. Perhaps it made her more appreciative of some things.

When she wrote her memoir, she had been married to President Ford for three decades. She observed that there had been "a great deal of whooping and hollering" when her husband became president "because I'd said Jerry and I were not going to have separate bedrooms at the White House and that we were going to take our own bed with us."

Her first marriage hadn't soured her. It made her more appreciative of what she had found.

"Even now, after all those years of married life, I like the idea of sleeping with my husband next to me," she wrote — and when you read it in 1978, you could almost see her sly grin.

It wasn't as controversial as when she said it wouldn't surprise her to learn that her 18–year–old daughter was in a sexual relationship. My memory is that a chastened Susan Ford denied being in such a relationship.

Maybe she had a greater influence on people than she imagined. That wouldn't surprise me, either.

She was one of a kind among first ladies.

Betty Ford's Birthday

Betty Ford never seemed to be cut from the same cloth as most first ladies.

I wasn't old enough to remember the Kennedy presidency; if I had been, that might have altered my thinking. For that matter, I almost wasn't old enough to remember Lyndon Johnson's presidency, but I was old enough to have formed an impression of Lady Bird from what I had seen on TV. And I definitely had some opinions about Richard Nixon's presidency and his wife, Pat.

When Nixon resigned, Gerald Ford took his place, and it was, as I have written before, like a breath of fresh air. Maybe that was because most of Ford's public life had been spent as a Republican member of the House, representing a district in Michigan. He hadn't lost the common touch as had most of his 20th century predecessors, who had to wage national campaigns.

Neither had his wife, but she certainly became a lightning rod in the years she spent in the White House.

For that matter, Mrs. Ford likely would not fit in with the Republican Party of the 21st century. In the 1970s, she was much more candid and open than the other first ladies in my memory — and the positions she took (i.e., pro–choice, pro–ERA, a supporter of feminism, progressive on drugs and premarital sex and gun control) were, to say the least, hardly what one would expect from the spouse of the president in those days.

She did a lot to raise public awareness of some sticky subjects. Her husband hadn't even been president for two months when she had a mastectomy. Breast cancer wasn't something that people talked about openly in 1974, but Mrs. Ford changed that and, as a result, countless lives were saved.

"When other women have this same operation, it doesn't make any headlines," she said. "But the fact that I was the wife of the president put it in headlines and brought before the public this particular experience I was going through. It made a lot of women realize that it could happen to them. I'm sure I've saved at least one person — maybe more."

(Ironically, another famous woman — tennis legend Martina Navratilova — renewed public attention to the disease this week with her announcement that she has breast cancer.)

After she left the White House, Mrs. Ford continued her quest to improve the health of Americans. With the help of her family, she faced her problems with alcoholism and painkiller addiction and founded the Betty Ford Center in California. Her daughter Susan is now chairman of the board.

Mrs. Ford managed to remain out of the public eye in the last few decades, but she was thrust back into it a few years ago when her husband died. After his funeral, she retreated into her private life, where she remains today, which happens to be her 92nd birthday.

She is the oldest living first lady and only the third first lady to live past the age of 90 (although Nancy Reagan will join her if she lives until July 2011).

I guess, when one considers Mrs. Ford's battles with breast cancer and alcoholism and painkillers, it is nothing short of astonishing that she has lived more than 33 years after leaving the White House. But that is the sort of person Betty Ford is — a survivor who lives on and inspires others.

Happy birthday, Mrs. Ford — and many, many more.