Commercials I Can't Stand

Recently, I read a blog article about the TV commercials for Ally Bank.

And it started me thinking about commercials that I loathe.

I will admit, most of the commercials that have inspired this kind of response within me have been creations of local TV stations, and they have been unprofessional enough to leave no doubt about their origins.

But others have been produced by people whose education and experience should have led to something that was less likely to peel the enamel from my teeth.

So, as a change of pace from my discussions of current events, here they are, in no particular order (because each one is likely to make me feel the end is near):

• Coca–Cola
  
  A lot of commercials utilize hit songs, but this one created a hit song. I wonder if it would have been more or less nauseating if it had used "Kumbaya" instead.
  
  


• Life Call
  
  Who hasn't made a joke about the line "I've fallen and I can't get up?" Seems like it is almost a rite of passage now.
  
  


• Raisin Bran
  
  George Carlin spoke about this commercial on one of his comedy albums. He said he always wanted to be in the commercial, wearing his raisin shirt and his beret, sitting in the milk surrounded by bran flakes. Personally, I always wanted a gun whenever I saw it.
  
  


• Tootsie Pops
  
  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I don't know. How many times can you bash my head with a blunt object before I pass out?
  
  


• Oxi Clean
  
  I'm sorry that Billy Mays died a few months ago. But I'm still seeing his commercials on TV. That's a little creepy.
  
  And he's still annoying.
  
  


• Morning in America
  
  Political commercials tend to set my teeth on edge, but this Reagan–Bush commercial from 1984 was so sickeningly sweet it seemed likely to put me in a glucose–induced coma every time I saw it.
  
  


• Meow Mix
  
  Kids and animals are tried–and–true tools of the commercial trade, but the singing cat was too much for me.
  
  


• Popular Science's "Future Of ..."
  
  There was a time when TV networks didn't advertise on other networks. No more. I don't have the Science Channel, but I have seen this advertisement so many times I want to throw something heavy at the TV every time it comes on.
  
  


• Investigation Discovery's "Deadly Women"
  
  Same goes for Investigation Discovery and promos for its "Deadly Women" show.
  
  


• Frito Bandito
  
  I remember this one from my childhood.
  
  Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges.
  
  Hardly politically correct.
  
  


• Budweiser
  
  Words fail me.
  
  


• Yoplait
  
  Shove the sharp end of a pencil into my eye. Please.
  
  


• e–trade
  
  This one makes me want to run screaming from the room each time it comes on.
  
  


• Taco Bell
  
  I've never worked in advertising, but I gather that kids and animals are considered sure things for successful advertising pitches. Maybe that is so. But I could live without seeing the e–trade baby again — or the Taco Bell dog, for that matter.
  
  


• Budweiser
  
  However, I will say that I liked the Budweiser frogs. And I thought the last ad in the series was very clever.