Daughter Remembers Reagan's Dignity

Four years ago today, Ronald Reagan died at the age of 93.

I suppose his official cause of death was the Alzheimer's disease he battled for a decade. Of course, if one is in one's 90s and passes away, I guess it's fair to say that individual died of old age.

(That's what we tended to say about my grandmother, also an Alzheimer's victim, who died nearly 20 years ago at the age of 91.)

Whatever the reason for it, Reagan died four years ago today. Within a year, the son of Reagan's vice president/successor will be leaving the White House -- and the cycle of Bush-Clinton-Bush that succeeded him 20 years ago will draw to a close.

Americans will be discussing who should be the next president more and more as we approach November.

Reagan's daughter, Patti Davis, wonders what her father would have thought in an article in Newsweek that is biased only in that it shows all too clearly how an adult child feels about the loss of a parent.

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I can relate to what she has to say because I've lost a parent as well. In fact, I remember sympathizing with the Reagan family at the time of his death -- even though I wasn't a Reagan fan during his lifetime -- and understanding, perhaps better than many, her brother Ron's remark afterward about experiencing their father's death on two levels -- privately and publicly.

When I lost my mother, I was overwhelmed by the turnout at the funeral. She had become something of a public figure prior to her death. During her lifetime, I never realized how much of a public figure she had become and I hadn't expected to share my grief with so many people. It really caught me by surprise.

Much of what Davis says in her article (i.e., "At this time of year in California, the jacaranda trees are blooming. ... If I didn't have a calendar, I would still know that this anniversary was upon us. Jacaranda and jasmine will always be the background palette of that time.") is so familiar to me.

In my case, I don't remember specific scents that were in the air, but I do remember how green the trees and shrubs were -- and the effect of sunlight filtering through the leaves and branches.

I may not always see that same shade of green around the anniversary of her death, but the sight of that shade of green will always remind me of the days just before and just after the flash flood that took her life. And it will always remind me of the ride to the church for her funeral and the ride to the cemetery for her burial.

I know my public experience was nothing like what the Reagan family went through. I just didn't expect it.

On a personal level, though, I understand completely what Patti Davis and Ron Reagan went through when their father died.

And, like many Americans, I'm curious what Reagan would have thought of the political climate in America today.

Davis, like her brother, never seemed to hesitate to take the opportunity to embarrass her conservative parents with her liberal views and rebellious acts when they occupied the White House. And even after the Reagans left the public eye, Davis continued to rebel in a book she wrote in 1992 and her nude photos in Playboy in 1994.

Without going into the details, Davis, now 55, is candid about her mistakes.

"I, like many people, live with regrets that will never lessen," she writes, "the times I lashed out at my father, refused to appreciate him or consider his feelings, his point of view."

She doesn't speculate about who her father would have liked to have seen elected president this year, and she doesn't talk about how she plans to vote.

But she's quite certain how Reagan would feel about the political scene in 2008.

"My father would be perplexed by the overabundance of meanness in the political field," Davis writes. "And he would be deeply saddened by it."

And she has something to say that both Barack Obama and John McCain should heed.

"My father's dignity didn't die four years ago, and neither did our longing for it."

That's the change the country has been seeking.